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Hell & Highwater

from Notes on a Crisis by Dani-Rae Clark

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about

Affectionately known as "I'll get sober if you get sober" or "a woman's way through the 12 steps", this song is a note on our investments in each other's wellness and the impact of suffering in another.

For the women I wish I hadn't lost.
For the women of the Downtown East Side who protected and saw through me in my youth, and held onto my body until I promised them I would leave while I still could. I owe you everything.
For my Aunt Rona, who I love endlessly and who did not die of an overdose. I just miss you.
And for my first girlfriend, who saved my life, and who's survival I depend on.

lyrics

Lately I been thinking of a photo hung and framed
And the silence that echoes from an abandoned name
And the delicately chosen things that weightlessly hang
On the four walls that held us while the old record sang

Well Nina Simone and Buffy Sainte-Marie
And My Lord Lucinda, did you write this one for me?
When she opened the window to let her smoke meet the night
The moon blankets her skin in a warm wash in of light

And I welcome Hell and High Water
To hollow the shell of your eldest daughter
Let her grow back in all flush and fully
Let the new garden have some room for me
And I'll take the same
By my mother's name

Lately I been thinking about someone I knew
With miles behind eyes words quiet and few
With skin like a great lake seeming endless and still
Hauntings thunder asunder, ringing hymns through the hills.

Shadows were hiding from the lamp on the stand
When she rises early to dress for work again
Felt like bathwater draining when she's leaving her bed
And her beauty's as painful as the moment thats fled

And I welcome Hell and High Water
To hollow the shell of your eldest daughter
Let her grow back in all flush and fully
Let the new garden have some room for me
And I'll take the same
By my mother's name

Well the city's too big, but it feels like an urn.
And you turn into ashes every time you learn
Well have you seen the aching and the places she hides
And have you seen her lately?
'cause I'm look'n to find.

credits

from Notes on a Crisis, released March 29, 2020

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Dani-Rae Clark Vancouver, British Columbia

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