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Notes on a Crisis

by Dani-Rae Clark

supported by
Michael Benoit
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Michael Benoit What you say and play resonates so heavy we can feel it in our bones. We relate and understand and appreciate what you have to say and the musical way you present what you have to say. Thank you for everything you have exposed the world to. Thank you for exposing the world to what you have lived through. We all need more than what you have given us. So many have lived real loss (including my wife and I) and you present and express it more than most. A big favorite for the wife and I for sure. Favorite track: Atlantic.
Cud Eastbound
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Cud Eastbound I love this record because it’s amazing, have you listened to it? Have you!?
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1.
Do you hear me when I cry out your name From way across the country Got nothing to offer you and even less to say but I'm begging you to hear from me I'm going back to Paradise Valley, Montana To find that river just off the road I could stand a baptize'n since we left Montana I've seen more of Hell than I care to know Face down in the city and I'm so far from home Someone's layin next to me but I'm all alone Its been so long since Ive heard my own name or recognized a single time or place or recognized a single line in my face Do you hear me when I twist, tear and shake Condemned as these walls that hardly stand Back in the midwest just as the dawn would break You held me to the Promise Land. Now all that I've got left is an old scrap of fabric Just some shirt, use to be yours It use to hold you and separate us at the skin It can't do that any more Now it just lays there on the floor I'd give anything to be stranded with you now In the back seat of that car thats broken down I'd give anything but I've got nothin to give And this city life's a lonely way to live I'm going back to Paradise Valley, Montana To find that river just off the road It'll happen one of these days I swear I swear, just as soon as I'm ready to go It'll happen one of these days I swear One of these days I'm coming home.
2.
Lately I been thinking of a photo hung and framed And the silence that echoes from an abandoned name And the delicately chosen things that weightlessly hang On the four walls that held us while the old record sang Well Nina Simone and Buffy Sainte-Marie And My Lord Lucinda, did you write this one for me? When she opened the window to let her smoke meet the night The moon blankets her skin in a warm wash in of light And I welcome Hell and High Water To hollow the shell of your eldest daughter Let her grow back in all flush and fully Let the new garden have some room for me And I'll take the same By my mother's name Lately I been thinking about someone I knew With miles behind eyes words quiet and few With skin like a great lake seeming endless and still Hauntings thunder asunder, ringing hymns through the hills. Shadows were hiding from the lamp on the stand When she rises early to dress for work again Felt like bathwater draining when she's leaving her bed And her beauty's as painful as the moment thats fled And I welcome Hell and High Water To hollow the shell of your eldest daughter Let her grow back in all flush and fully Let the new garden have some room for me And I'll take the same By my mother's name Well the city's too big, but it feels like an urn. And you turn into ashes every time you learn Well have you seen the aching and the places she hides And have you seen her lately? 'cause I'm look'n to find.
3.
The first woman I ever loved Never loved me and she never will So I ain't had nothing to lose But I could hold you still I like to hold you still Why do you try so damn hard To hold onto that shitty job And hold onto that basement suite Whats with you and consistency As if there's such thing as security Why don't you just get in the truck with me? And why did you try so damn hard To keep the truth from come'n out And not to change the way things were Well that's all ruined now. And why do you cry so damn hard Even when I was in your arms And I walked out of your back yard Just a square of concrete And you stood in your back yard Staring out at me When I'm asking you to breathe, Colleen Let me leave with one more thing Cause you don't know the shit I've seen Like that colour blue Of a man who'll never breathe for you And that empty stare of man who's no longer there When I'm asking you to breathe, Colleen Even if I don't deserve a thing I want to hear that holy sound Of your chest rising up and down. Like every woman I've ever loved You'll never outweigh my wayward will But if I had something to lose I would hold you still.
4.
Atlantic 04:03
I asked the atlantic when my time is gonna come i asked the atlantic when our time is gonna come i asked the atlantic for to call my baby home she said honey now your time ain't come and gone i know that she loved me like the moon pulls in the tide i carry round her photograph 'cause it makes for shorter nights and when i held her face between my palms i could see the water rise and i saw that she loved me like the moon pulls in the tide theres a curse on the town where i come from and that plague has taken so many i love the city's dark and sobbing still with a terror overcast seems i run away just to take the long walk back if i freeze and panic will you kneel down next to me if i freeze and panic will you softly help me see that when i freeze and harden please remind me that i'm free you're the salt that gives way to warm waters underneath so i asked the atlantic when my time is gonna come i asked the atlantic when our time is gonna come i asked the atlantic for to please let me come home she said honey now you're time ain't come and gone
5.
Well you go and your body stays Somehow you said its safer this way You moved your arm a little and you held your head And you can't hear me screaming from this side of the bed. And we to try to stay home but they're coming in, They're coming in And you try to grow old but they're coming in, They're persistant And they tug at your belt And they tear at your shirt They said you'll burn and you'll burn You are pathologised, You are destitute They scream what are you what are you? But when my baby bleeds I got a cloth on hand I've got a cloth on hand Well I sure learned early to have a cloth on hand to have a cloth on hand. Just don't get lost when you leave I'll rub your chest 'till you come back to your body And we take turns holding down We'll be right here, needing you 'round. And I tug at your belt and I tear at your shirt You just show me where it hurts You are our kinda kid we all got shares in this shit And we need you and I need you And when we bleed you got a cloth on hand You got a cloth on hand Well you sure learned early that I bleed You got a cloth on hand.

about

Notes on a Crisis is a small collection of songs about loss, mourning, fear and prayer in the ongoing fentanyl crisis. It is an offering to anyone wrapped up or touched by this collective trauma.
It is for everyone we have lost. May you be heard.
It is for anyone who has lost. May you be held.

credits

released March 29, 2020

Recorded on Unseeded Coast Salish Territory,
by Dominick Civiero at The Warehouse Studio

Photograph by Kiki Paterson in 2011

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Dani-Rae Clark Vancouver, British Columbia

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